and my eyes are puffy like, I don’t know, puffer fish?

It was so moving!

But you are alone. Aren’t you lonely?

Frighteningly lonely

What do you mean? Frighteningly lonely?

It’s like when we were younger, we were so lonely because we didn’t have a lot of friends. Now that we are grown up, loneliness just seems so much worse.

So I’ve one question: if we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it when we are separated one day? And if separation is a part of life, is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them?

At the same time I was also wondering whether it is possible that we can live our entire lives without loving anyone at all.

That’s my loneliness.

I secretly love crying my eyes out.

85648690, Jupiterimages /Workbook Stock


Woah, it’s Johnny again.

I certainly cannot wait.

I hope that it will be a great movie so that I’ve no reason not to catch it because I’ve already found three reasons to watch it: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale and Channing Tatum.

Just nice: breakfast, lunch and dinner. Pass me the salt and the pepper. Where’re the knife and fork?? And I can’t decide who to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner. I think I shall just have all three of them three times in the day.

Seriously, Johnny Depp, and now Channing Tatum?

AND Christian Bale??!

I’m going to hyperventilate. Pass me that brown paper bag. Quick.

Zac Efron is 17 again, and just like one of the girls cooed in the movie, “If that boy were an apple, he’d be a Delicious!”

I say, if that boy were an apple, there would not even be any core left after I was done with him.

Who knows pretty boys could have this much sex appeal?

Boys, boys, boys, we like boys in cars
Boys, boys, boys, buy us drinks in bars
Boys, boys, boys with hairspray and denim
And boys, boys, boys, we love them, we love them
– “Boys, boys, boys”, Lady Gaga



Outstanding performance by Sean Penn.

A very cute James Franco. Even with that ridiculous hairdo and moustache.

One thought-provoking film.

My film of the year. And yes, I know that the year has just started. It’s just that this particular film has just set very high bars for the upcoming ones.  

Harvey Milk who?

That was my initial response when I first heard about this film.

Prior to this film, I have never heard of this person ever before.

Now, I will never forget Harvey Bernard Milk (May 22, 1930 – November 27, 1978), the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California as a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors.

A man whose life perhaps began only at the age of 40 when he first started to get involved in politics and gay activism, the same life which was unfortunately forcibly ended some eight years later by a gun.

If he was not murdered then, would he be remembered any differently today?

If he was not murdered then, would he have made a real difference in today’s world?

Afterall during his 11 months in office, he was responsible for passing a stringent gay rights ordinance for the city, a task seemingly impossible back in those days and would still be deemed as remarkable in the present. Would it have affected the current Proposition 8 differently?

Well, we will never know. But I know that if I had been Milk, my life had not been wasted, even though it might not have ended the way I would have preferred. I might not have accomplished all those that I was planning for myself, but at least I had touched lives, I had made a difference for some. Perhaps I had let some people down, but I had not let myself down. Maybe this is the type of life I am searching for myself – you don’t always go with the flow, sometimes you get yourself hurt for standing against the currents, but you know and believe in what you are fighting for, and in the end perhaps this is all that matters.

Sometimes even I ask myself why I feel and stand so strongly for homosexuality when the most crooked part of myself is probably my little finger and I do not have any close friends or relatives who are gay (unless they are still closeted). Why does my blood boil instantly when others make discriminating remarks (even if they are out of pure ignorance or stupidity and mean no real malice)? Why am I all out to slash throats and spill blood when I hear “sin”, “burn in hell” or other religious or non-religious related comments? Why do I take something like that to heart when it doesn’t seem to concern me in any way? Why do I seem to make my own life difficult by taking a stand different from the majority?

I think it’s because I just have to do the right thing. Every single gene in me is compelled to adhere to things that I feel are morally right. That doesn’t mean that I try to be a saint. I have no use for the name or reputation of a saint. I cuss, I swear, I flash the finger, I have really evil thoughts like setting your hair on fire if I dislike you strongly, but I also have principles that will literally kill me if I bend any. Hence even though it can be painful standing my ground sometimes and having everyone else bump viciously into you as they go in the opposite direction, at least that doesn’t kill me. I cannot pretend to speak the same words as everyone else and nod my head just because everyone else is doing that, when everything that I have learnt teaches me to look and think beyond ancient beliefs, myths, religions, popular beliefs and everything else.

If homosexuality is not wrong, then I’m on the right side. I used to think that the majority should be correct. If there were 99 people saying that it was A and only one insisting on B, then A should be the correct answer. But now I know that sometimes the seemingly negligible 1% can be the correct one, no matter how ridiculous it may sound.


“Milk” – a must-see.


I like where I stay.

I can walk on the nearly deserted (because AMK central is never really totally deserted) streets in the middle of the night all by myself, enjoying the cool crisp air of nightfall, the darkness looming when the sun’s gone, and the serenity when almost everyone else is drifting to their respective dreamlands. I can appreciate all these without having to fear being mobbed, harassed or raped. Not that I actually have anything to rob or to be taken advantage of, but you get my point.

Security is what we citizens take for granted, which results in what our government loathes the most, complacency, and that may ultimately destroy everything we’ve built. But one will know that no woman, in the sane state of mind, will walk on the empty streets alone late at night in other countries. Unless, of course, you are a hooker. Our government has fought hard to make the streets safe for everyone and I appreciate it. I like night-time and I won’t be able to take my time to bask in the luxury if I have not known that I will be safe. I was amazed when I met two patrolling police cars separately on my five-minute walk home from the mall last night. It’s nice to know that our men are making sure that everything is okay on the streets. Especially if they are tall well-built hunks in uniforms who will rush to my rescue when I need it. I wouldn’t know though. I didn’t peek into the cars.

That was my thought when I walked home from the mall after 150 minutes well spent with one very tough, hunky dude with a deep sexy voice and in a uniform (I guess you can call it that). Yeah, I finally watched “The Dark Knight”. I have to watch it. I’m addicted to all movies spun off from comics. You name it, I’ve probably watched it. Okay, maybe except the gigantic Ben Affleck flop “Daredevil” and the wifey flop of Jennifer Garner’s “Elektra”. You will really have to dare me for me to watch these.  

Heath Ledger as the Joker was breathtaking.

When I looked at the Joker on the screen, I did not see Heath Ledger. Or Ennis Twist. Or Jack Nicholson’s 1989 Joker. I saw the psychopath I have always known from my early exposure to Batman in the cartoons, everything that I have ever imagined. Heath Ledger’s Joker was so freaking scary that everytime he made an appearance, I involuntarily shrank into my seat. Whenever he took out his knife, I cringed. When he put the knife to the mouth of his victim, I automatically covered my face with my hands. When he did slice the mouth of one mafia leader open, I looked away. Even his eerie laughter made me flinch.

Heath Ledger was one legendary actor. He completely stole the show. Christian Bale who? I hope that Heath Ledger can win an Oscar for this role. It’ll be in great memory of him. I am sad that we will never be able to catch any more outstanding performance from him anymore. Except of course his last work, “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”. Production of the film was initially disrupted following the death of Heath Ledger but subsequently Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law were cast to replace Heath Ledger, portraying transformed versions of Ledger’s character while traveling through a magical realm. I can’t wait to catch this.


Why so serious?

I’m going to be scared of this line for a very long time.

P.S Oh, at the end of the movie when Batman asked Gordon to put the lives of the innocent taken by Harvey Dent to his account, so as not to let the Joker’s scheme succeed, all I could hear in my head was “You can put the blame on me (x4)” (because the chorus of Akon’s “Sorry, blame it on me” really simply consists of one line). Of course all the movie played was some exciting music sounding like the tune of “Mission Impossible” but I thought the Akon song was more apt.  

Is very humsome.

Diz and I went to catch “Sex and the City” last Saturday and the movie was fabulous!!

I never had the opportunity to watch the TV series, so I didn’t know exactly what the show was about nor, for the matter of fact, the characters. All I knew about SATC was that there were four lovely women with the most popular being Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw, a lot of beeeeaaatifuuuul clothes, bags and shoes, the two “L”s – labels and love, men and of course, sex. Hence it was a truly pleasant surprise to find myself engaged in some meaningful and thorough exploration of love and friendship amidst the Manolo Blahnik, Louis Vuitton and Vivienne Westwood during the 145 minutes.  

The movie had the right pace and plenty of humour scattered throughout. It was a tad too long for someone with a tiny and overactive bladder like mine because I found myself squirming in my seat after 100 minutes with an increasingly overwhelming urge to visit the ladies. The last 30 minutes were quite a torture trying not to pee in my pants but it didn’t make the movie any less perfect. I don’t understand either what’s up with us girls liking beautiful things laid out in front of us, and that even if we can’t touch them or own them, it doesn’t make it any less fun just to ogle at them. SATC is just like a two-hour fashion parade.

I’m not sure if men would like it but girls and ladies, you all have to catch it. With four lead ladies, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, the movie is just like one warm and fun pyjamas sleepover party, definitely a not-to-be-missed movie to catch with the girls! And of course if my gaydar was operating fine, I thought I spotted quite a number of gay couples at the theatre too.

Just before the movie started, I was telling Diz that I was worried that I would feel an unstoppable urge to shop after watching this movie, especially with the Great Singapore Sale going on now. Fortunately, I did not feel so after the movie which made my wallet very happy, but instead after watching the ladies party, we felt that the night was too young to call it a day (why does that sound weird) and headed over to Timbre for some drinks.

Ok, the drinking part was more for me. I needed my regular fix of Coronas. My last one was a month ago, so spare me the preaching.

Timbre is the place to go if you like some live band and the Goodfellas were performing that night. As how Diz never fails to be corny without even trying, she said that was why the fellas were so good. She wasn’t lying though. They were darn good. From rock to pop to hip-hop, the songs they can perform boast a wide variety of genres. Hell, they even did a Beyond song which I failed to name even though I could sing along to it. It was a Cantonese hit and these dudes were Malays. How cool is that.  

They were so good that we stayed till they finished their last section for the night, despite feeling so sleepy and tired that we could doze off to their soothing voices.  

Anyway I saved the best part of the day to the last to tell everyone. It’s actually a pretty freaky incident which happened to both of us during dinner. We had dinner at the HK cafe at Cineleisure even though we were catching the movie at PS as I had wanted to visit the Nike store there. The food took pretty long to arrive which was forgivable as it was a Saturday night, but we only had an hour to spare by the time we sat down to have our dinner and we needed time to walk over to PS as well. Hence when our food finally came, I suggested getting the bill first since that usually would need more waiting time.

It was the manager who brought us the bill even though we requested from a waitress and upon seeing our food pretty much untouched as yet, he commented that since we ladies were so hurried to get our bill even though our food just arrived, we must be rushing to catch “Sex and the City”.

Seriously. I was dumbfounded. I thought I must have heard wrongly. I looked at Diz and she appeared stunned and struck dumb with astonishment. When she eventually managed a weak “You got it so right” and an equally weak nod, I was 50% awed and 50% freaked out. How could he have guessed correctly?! We didn’t even speak to him nor even see him until then and he wasn’t loitering near our seats to have managed to eavesdrop on our conversation. Even if he was, we never once mentioned the name of the movie!

Spooky haha!

After taking our bill and credit card to the cashier, he came back to chat with us. Who still had this cannot-believe-our-ears look on our faces. I asked him how he managed to get that right and he explained that he had seen and spoken to enough customers to have this “sixth sense” about a customer. I told him that he could consider setting up a booth for fortune-telling.

It has to be one of the freakiest things that has ever happened to me.

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