Remember the crazy HBDI test which I took?

Anyway the results were finally out. During our monthly three-hour team meeting, as part of the games conducted in between the otherwise-boring-as-hell individual reportings so that everyone could keep themselves awake, my colleagues had to guess five simple questions about myself and the last one was to predict my HBDI profile. Interestingly everyone was only throwing out the green and the blue. Only the associate manager who happened to sit right beside me guessed without much hesitation that I should be a balanced case.

Well, well, turned out that she was the only one who got it correct!

The predominant one was still the blue but the other three profiles were only differing by a few points with the green being next in line and the yellow at the bottom. Most people would have a distinctively high score in only one of the four profiles.

In case you are wondering about the weird colours I kept talking about all this while, I got this simplified explanation off the Hermann website:

A – blue – analyser, rational self, quantifies, logical, critical, realistic, likes numbers.
Career: accountant, actuary, engineer.
Favourite question: Is the money there?
Ideal car: Mercedes

B – green – organiser, safekeeping self, neat, timely, reliable, gets things done.
Career: manager, administrator.
Favourite question: Can we deliver/ When?
Ideal car: Volkswagen

C – red – personaliser, feeling self, sensitive, supportive, expressive, talkative.
Career: teacher, trainer, social worker, salesperson, writer, musician, actor.
Favourite question: How will others be affected?
Ideal car: Ford

D – yellow – strategiser, experimental self, takes risks, visualises, impetuous.
Career: artists, entrepreneur, strategist, consultant.
Question: Is there a long-term future?
Ideal car: BMW

I suppose that I wasn’t surprised to discover myself being a little bit of everything. Finding the simple test tough to complete was probably a clue in itself. Remember the Sex ID test I took previously? I was neither here nor there but somewhere in between and “proven” to own an androgynous mind. But sometimes I do wonder if it will be better and easier for myself if I am just this or that instead of being this and that. Because sometimes it feels like I have a few of myself, each with their own distinctive personality, living inside this capsule which we call the body, and they aren’t always exactly living in harmony. Sometimes they contradict each other, sometimes they bicker, sometimes they fight so badly. They can’t help it. Everyone wants to win. It can be terribly confusing. Hence sometimes I will need this particular “me”, who probably fronts this show and whom you are really talking to when you talk to me, to get them to shut up (“You shut up! And you too! All of you shut up and listen to me!”), quit quarreling and decide what we all (by this, I really just mean myself) are going to do because there’s always only one choice to decide upon.

Haha okay, I just made myself sound like the human spaceship, Dave, in the movie “Meet Dave” (by Eddie Murphy). I swear that I am 101% Homo sapien.

At the end of the day, it is useless to lament about things that we cannot change, or need not be changed in the first place. If this is the way I am supposed to be, meant to be, then perhaps I should just let it be. As Epicurus once said, “You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

Even Kanye West said so. 😉