(ok make that just four hours) and some lethal Belvedere vodka, I had come to learn ten of the greatest lessons in my life:
1) Who the fuck said that getting drunk was fun was damn wrong. Although I did accuse Diz of telling me that and she denied. Might be the alcohol messing my mind up. Except that unfortunately it wasn’t the only thing it messed up.
2) Thou shalt eat the damn potato wedges when told. Because drinking on an almost empty stomach can lead to a not-so-fun event called puking.
3) Thou cannot choose when you want to puke. Or know how much you still have to puke. Or where you are going to puke. Right on the table, in the toilet, into a jug or at a drain.
4) It is not fun for your friends when you puke and they have to take care of you.
5) It is not possible to enjoy the music when one is drunk. Or even stand on the feet to dance for the matter of fact.
6) Thou need not dress up when thou intend to puke and look like a mess at the end of the night.
7) It is not wise to wear a beautiful gold cuff friends just bought you for your birthday and lose it in the club in the middle of dancing. And it is unable to find no matter how everyone searches.
8 ) Sitting on a cab when drunk is one of the most potent puke-inducing experiences ever.
9) One of the best ways to keep yourself from puking in the cab is to distract yourself by calculating complicated mathematical multiplications in your head.
10) Thou shalt sleep till mid afternoon after coming home to bed after 3am because that is what thou always do, instead of waking up bright-eyed and alert (and thank Ghandi – because I feel like doing so today – for no hangover!) at 10am because no one in the family would believe their eyes.
Quote Mum: Are you really awake or are you going back to bed?
Quote Dad (to my sister when he saw my deserted bed): What? She is awake?
Quote Sis: I thought you wouldn’t wake up before 12pm.
It was almost as if they saw a pig walking on its hind legs.
Wait, they did. That was me.